Bad News Bear

I wonder what the teleprompter reads.

RAARRGAHRARRRAGHGHRARRGHH
AAARRHGHARAAARRGGGHAHHHHGH
HAHRHARHGGGGHARARAGARAGGGHHHH
And here’s Tom with the weather.

I see Fox News has hired Glenn Beck’s replacement.

Very fitting claw marks on the west coast, foretelling the earthquake that will happen.
And let’s drink to the hopes that the east coast won’t have a nuclear meltdown.
Cheers.

I am fairly certain that this shirt is a metaphor for our current economic situation.

As a meteorologist, I must say the map is pretty terrible… but I HAVE to get this shirt!

When I saw bad & bear in the title I had something else in mind. Can we get a po rn.shirt.woot site started? They could be like $2.99 the first minute & 99 cents extra each additional minute.

I don’t think a bear is a good mascot for Fox. Seems like it should be…nah, it’s too easy.

lol this made me think… wat the cracking is this… but smiled.

This is the kind of shirt you buy to freak out and/or confuse the heck out of you friends.

Kaaaahahaha, FTW!!!

This is a terribly offensive shirt, on multiple levels. First of all, this is a blatant depiction of animal mistreatment. This poor bear has been stuffed into an uncomfortable suit. Look at that tie! I’ll bet that it is far too tight around the bear’s neck. It’s a noose and it is wrong. And that wig! Forcing the bear to wear such a monstrosity is demeaning. Imagine all the taunts he’ll have to endure from his bear peers.

And do I even need to mention the strong probability that this bear is receiving less than minimum wage and no benefits for his labour? He probably doesn’t have union rights.

Finally, the very act of having the bear anchor the news is just another one of the media’s fear-mongering tactics. The media needs to stop being so alarmist and just report the news. I mean, please - we can do without the ursine bias. I don’t care if world supplies of fish, berries and honey are “dangerously low”. Forest fires aren’t headline news. And picnic baskets are bear-interest pieces, not human-interest pieces.

Hm, ya think the bear picked up some pointers from Zorak?

And man, that bear needs to lose some weight. Do I dare suggest the Atkins diet?

Why the Atkins diet? Are the Atkinses any lower calorie than, say, the Smiths or the Joneses?

*steps up to offended party soapbox"

As a life long member of People for the Ethical Treatment of News Anchors (PETNA for short) I would like to say how displeased I am with woot for printing this shirt.

It may not seem like from those nightly news casts, but News Anchors are living things just like you and me. While it is true that they apparently don’t have real feelings, and they rake through muck to find what they can devour–this doesn’t mean they don’t experience pain and have emotions just like you or I do.

Furthermore, they must be allowed to find their own food. You do them more harm then good when you toss them a quote here or there.

Lovely. Bear news = in for one!

I just have one thing to say: let’s have less Homer Simpsons and more money for public schools.

The last bit there made me laugh out loud, literally.

today’s forecast: a sharp shift in temperatures along the pacific coast, hairy travel conditions across the midwest, an unbearable heat wave moving into the northeast, and a grizzly looking storm system settling into the south. after a brief paws, we’ll get back to ursula bruin with an update on the pandamonium resulting from this afternoon’s marked drop in stock performance…

If I buy multiples of this, I’m wondering if my anchors will wear them on the air.