We’re here with a fantastic offer! You can be a Woot! writer for a day! We know that some of you are pretty darn funny and we’re here to let you show off. What do you get? Nothing, just like our actual Woot! Writers!!!
We’re looking for your submissions for monkey chats or the polls! Have an idea? Post away!
A few rules of thumb:
Mort and Monte are roommates who work @ Woot! together.
Keep 'em short. Nobody has time to read a novelette.
Chat: 3-5 discussion boxes
Poll: 3-4 answers
Keep 'em clean. No adult matter, politics, religion, race, etc.
Must be original works. No plagiarism.
Ready? Get going!
Which one is the straight and which one is the banana man? Comedically speaking of course.
A double act (also known as a comedy duo) is a form of comedy originating in the British music hall tradition, and American vaudeville, in which two comedians perform together as a single act. Pairings are typically long-term, in some cases for the artists' entire careers. Double acts perform on the stage, television and film.
The format is particularly popular in the United Kingdom where successful acts have included Morecambe and Wise and The Two Ronnies but the tradition is also present in ...
Worst thing to discover inside your shoe?
-a dead mouse
-someone else’s foot
-a glob of baked beans
Monte’s the str8 man!
Or, Mortimer is Laurel and Monte is Hardy
(is that ref too old??)
Mort: You ready for the big game?
Monte: Yeah, I’ll just need to pick up some guac…
Mort: I’m gonna beat Ken Jennings’ score for sure this time!
Mort: I just bought some magic beans on Woot!
Monte: Um, yeah… Those aren’t magical.
Mort: WHAT? I already planted them… I am going to demand my money back.
Monte: Now, that would be a trick!
Mort: I FOUND AND CAPTURED BIGFOOT!
Monte: OMG, that’s a bear!
Mort: eyeroll Fine! Then I caught Barefoot…
Monte: Ew! Why is my shoe full of beans?
Mort: Oh yeah. I dumped a whole heap o’ beans in it.
Mort: Hey, if you can’t handle the answer, don’t ask the question.
Monte: I’m working on Woot’s commercial for the Big Game. It’s supposed to introduce the Woot shopping experience. Any ideas?
Mortimer: Remember when you tried to buy that computer from a guy on a message board?
Monte: You mean the time when I showed up to meet the guy and he whacked me with a bag of frozen sausages, took my money, but left the sausages?
Mortimer: Yeah, that.
How do you plan on avoiding the Coronavirus?
No foreign travel
Add a lime
Do you Woot?
Only on rainy days
When no one is looking
What’s the worst pain you can do to your foot?
Stepping on a Lego
Getting hit in the ankle with a scooter
Dropping a bowling ball on your foot
Slamming a door on your foot
No, but I’ve been to your state a couple of times for conferences.
Yes. I’ll smile and say hello next time I see you so you know it’s me.
Mort: Hey, Monte. Come check this out.
Mort: So how do you like my sunglasses?
Monte: You mean the windows?