Be a Woot Writer for a Day!!!!

Yeah, sorry about your shoes.

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Oh god no. You’re trying to get me to do your work for you?!? Nice try

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I hereby crown you…

image

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Monte: Mort, that wasn’t very nice.
Mort: What do you mean?
Monte: You called me a curmudgeon in front of everyone in that meeting.
Mort: No, what I said was the conference room floor looked like a crumb dungeon after eating my muffin in there.

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Biggest fear?
-missing out
-heights
-drowning in a vat of baked beans
-darkness

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Favorite color of food:
Brown
Yellow
Green
Puce
Blue

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Why are dogs much better than cats?
Because they are dogs.
Because they are not cats
I prefer turtles.

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How far?

About 120 feet
17 miles
55.72 Centimeters
It’s just right there. Can’t you see it?

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The best things in life:
Are free
Usually cost a few dollars
Are very expensive
Are unobtainable

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Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day; teach a man to fish and:

He will steal all of your fish bait
He will catch his own fish
He will keep asking to borrow your boat
Why is this just for men? Women fish too!

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A Rolling Stone:

Gathers no moss
May gimme shelter
Is very heavy, man
Can be very Jagged

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You’ve made your bed, now:

Chase the cat off of the bed
Lie on it
Go do the dishes
I hate dumb old sayings

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When shopping online, I:

Save items in the cart until I’ve decided I’m done.
Purchase each item as soon as it’s in the cart.
Memorize each item in my head and go back to find them later
Forget what I’m looking for, so I wander over to the forums.

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Woot, now without CTO wajeremy, is now:

An empty hollow shell of the previous Woot.
Will somehow carry on, remembering the legacy of CTO wajeremy everyday.
Seemingly the same, so far.
Who is this CTO wajeremy person?

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My favorite T.V. Sitcom:

Gilligan’s Island
F Troop
Get Smart
That one with an alien or something.


Winter weather:

Is this winter? I haven’t noticed.
Is so brisk and wonderful!
Is dragging on a little for me.
Has too many cold, wet and dark days.
Has to end. Soon. Please. I can’t take much more.

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Mort: Hey what’s the deal with that banana under there?
Monte: I haven’t seen it.
Mort: No, no you’re supposed to say under where?
Monte: Heh. You said Underwear.
Mort: NO! MY PUNCHLINE! Aarrhhhggh, nevermind.
Monte: … now I want a banana.

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Once and for all.
Why did that chicken cross the road?

Because rumors of plump grasshoppers over there.
There really wasn’t much else to do.
It didn’t happen. It’s just an old hens tale.
Why are we so concerned about that chicken?

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When purchasing from Woot:
I purchase every item separately in case it sells out.
I combine my purchases and check-out once.
I only come here for the forums.
Purchase something from Woot? NEVER!

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Dave did it.

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Salmon oil in squirt bottles should be used on:

  • Mice
  • Fish heads
  • Cobb salad
  • ALL THE THINGS
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