Blackish Season 1 : A Pandemic of Wootian Proportions

My sleuthing has enabled me to deduce that Patient Zero of the Blackish Season One (BS-1) outbreak was @kcphil who contacted this plague in a Birthday B0C on July 11, 2019.

Since that time, BS-1 has proven to be an indiscriminate scourge, ravaging Crappers from first timers, to the longest standing members of the community, alike. Unfortunately, it now appears that the virus has mutated into a superbug.

At this point, it is my medical opinion (remember, in addition to being the chronicler of the world’s only consulting detective, I’m a doctor) that if a cure is not found soon, Woot Nation will succumb to BS-1. Unfortunately, my 19th century army medical training is inadequate and I call upon all able minded Wooters to help find a solution.

If you have been able to survive BS-1, for the good of the community, please describe how you accomplished this below. If you are fighting the good fight, photos and videos which document your experiments and attempted cures may be particularly helpful. Though you may fail, others may learn from your attempts and find a cure. Woot Nation’s collective spirit may be its only hope.

I must confess that I have a vested interest in the outcome of this matter as I too have contracted BS-1.

Regrettably, not only was I infected, but I further spread this plague during a crap swap with @SylvreKat. My guilt is overwhelming.

Godspeed Woot Nation. I hope to see you on the other side… mdW

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Experiment Log: test 1, attempt 1.

Method: Hammer smash

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Result: unsuccessful

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(CoughCough) the…only way to… survive…(***Cough*Cough***haaaarggh***Cough)… Microwave…the…disc!

Three to…five seconds… aaarrrgggh…quickly…

Good…luck…
Ack-aaaaarrrrgggghhhh…

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep…!

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I found a homepathic remedy in case you find yourself inflicted with the (not-so) deadly BS-1 Virus.

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I don’t know which would be worse; the toxic fumes or having the hideous end result in your home

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Definitely the fact that the video has over 3 million views… That means the likelihood of you encountering this in someone else’s home is greater than 0.

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You can try but you can’t hide. We shall keep this virus going! (until we run out of them)

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Definitely the toxic fumes. Doesn’t that lady own a blow dryer?

For every dvd you destroy that’s one reese’s cup you have to give away to some kid dressed up like Elsa or Spongebob.

That’s fine, I pass the Reese’s factory twice daily.

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A small price to pay to limit the spread of this scourge!

If only they still made delicious candy there.

They do! Depending on how the wind blows, you can smell the roasted peanuts!

I plan to include one each in an annual Christmas cookie exchange. I understand cookies are an anti-dote, so should be safe to give to friends??

Uh huh. They’re fake peanuts mixed with fake cocoa butter and fake chocolate flavoring.

That’s a great idea. You could wrap the dvd in festive paper and place the cookies on top. They’ll never suspect a thing.

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In fact, it’s probably fake sawdust being used as filler!!

Even something that’s fake is real.

Am I supposed to believe that? You’re an imaginary penguin.

Can’t not believe what’s not there.