Dear Mrs Claus - Ask Mrs. Claus a Question

Do the Elves make their own masks?

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We just received this scroll down the chimney. I think it’s for you:

Dearest Ljblack07:

Our elves, be they merry
With rosy cheeks like a sherry

Will always, you see, hsimply have to be
The utter epitome of Sylvan Safety.

*To that end we provide, *
What no one can deride:
Magical masks given with love and with pride!

*We make sure they’re both functional and fun, *
And in the latest style
*(Because let’s be honest, *
they’ll be wearing them for a while)

…Oh, and before anyone asks
If we give the elves too many tasks,
With words like “sweatshop” and “servitude” being being casually tossed about,
In the media, in the message boards, their lies they will spout.

So to deal with this,
Our lawyers will insist
On a Cease and Desist, *
That you sinmply cannot miss,
(And even above that, Santa will be p
***.)*

Hope that answers your question, deary!

Lovely yours,
Mrs. C;laus

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Anyone else want to ask Mrs. Claus a question?

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Mrs. Claus is kinda scary.

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Dear Mrs. Claus,
Will @peaceetc be receiving Ruby before the holidays? And will @Froodyfrog steal penguin Christmas (21 days)?
Finally, do you think @davejlives will give @ThunderThighs the shoe money she deserves?

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An important line of inquire for Mrs. Claus:

Isn’t it true that Santa travels around the World every Christmas Eve?
Wouldn’t this mean that he last traveled around the World on the evening of December 24, and into the early morning hours of December 25, 2019?
And he did make stops in the Wuhan province of China, correct?
Is it not also true that we witnessed a Worldwide spread of COVID 19 in early January of 2020?
Hasn’t it been shown that COVID-19 has an incubation period of around 12 days?
And you wouldn’t contest that early January is within 12 days of December 24 of the prior year?
One last question; Does Santa wear a mask when he delivers presents?

No further questions.
#TheGrottooftheSantaSediton
https://www.woot.com/blog/post/the-grotto-of-the-santa-sedition
#thetruthisinhere

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Dear Mrs Claus,

When a reindeer has to go, a reindeer has to go. I’m worried about my yard decorations and well, my roof if one of those guys has to “drop a load” while in flight. Where does all that poo go?

Signed,

Just picked up dog’s poo

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But are you sure it was dog poo? I could have been reindeer poo.

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image

Don’t be so harsh on yourself.

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Thank you for your support. I’m still trying to come to terms with what could have been.

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Dear Mrs. Clause, what present do you give a man who is always giving it away?

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Dearest pepper114:

Ruby will be freeze dried and delivered by sleigh by Jan 4, 2021. Thank you for your patience, deary!

If he does steal it, to the victor go the spoils I guess. <3

If @ThunderThighs puts her wooden shoes outside their cottage on Xmas eve, they’ll be a surprise in them come morning from @davejlives! That’s right, they’ll be wet!

Ever yours,
Mrs. Claus

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Dear @ThunderThighs:

Fortunately we fit our latest model reindeer with a waste containment suit that recycles all material into gingerbread cookies. Fun Fact: 5% of all gingerbread is reindeer poop.

Ever yours,
Mr.s Claus

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Dearest @Wooter986760089:

First off, what a lovely name you have! It sounds like a calculator throwing up. :slight_smile:

Why, a boomerang of course! It will drive him mad! …oh, I thought you said “throw it away.” Well, that doesn’t work. Hold on a tic…

A bushbaby in pajamas with its own face printed on them. If he’s able to look into those soulful eyes and give it away, he’s a MONSTER!

Yours,
Mrs. Claus

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My Dear @mydearWootson:

My, my! Well, I’ll just have to put a kettle on and get to a thoughtful reply! Magnificent questions!

Temporarily yours,
Mrs. “Daddy” Claus

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@peaceetc maybe ask for actual rubies instead? I believe Mrs. Claus is the Kraken.

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Wtf?

Dr. Mrs Clause,

When is @notmatty going to produce more #wootafterdark content? His small but devoted fan club needs to know. Christmas is the perfect time for a #wootafterdark holiday special. Maybe the Hallmark channel will sponsor it?

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No - Lacey Chabert cannot pull off a convincing portrayal of @notmatty no matter how hard she tries.

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Mrs Claus(e?)-
I’ve always wondered.
What is Jolly Old Santa smoking in that pipe of his?

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