Help make my crap less crappy! (please)

#1

I am the semi-proud recipient of a Virgin Pulse VP-13 wireless phone with answering machine. This device originated in a bag o’ crap.

The default message, a drawled “Talk into the machine, you know what to do” is not dissuading enough people from leaving messages. I want to change it to something that will scare away entire classifications of people.

However, I don’t have a manual, and even with the help of the mighty Google I was unable to find instructions for changing the message.

Thus I humbly ask you, the Wooters, who are known far and wide for your wisdom and kindness*, for help in finding instructions to make this thing useful.

*sort of

#2

Virgin Electronics closed about two years ago. Fortunately, The Wayback Machine has the manual archived (pdf document).

#3

Wow . . . crap without manuals . . . how bargain basement is that?

#4

Yeah, pretty crappy.

I wonder what message he wants to leave? How scary does one have to get to dissuade people from leaving a message?

#5

If ya don’t want messages - don’t have an answerin’ ma-gizmo . . .

#6

Hmmm… that is a way novel idea. Brilliant.

#7

Guinness for everybody!!!

#8

I always wanted to get one of my foreign post-doc friends to scream into the machine in some foreign language, followed by the beep. I think perhaps no-one but salesmen and refinance schemers would leave messages.

#9

The sales/polling/whatever calls all automated these days anyway. If your machine picks up too fast all you get is a recording anyway