Holy Smokes


#1

I just got a BOC in less than ten seconds…

THANX WOOT!


#2

Mine keeps saying order is processing, but it’s been doing that. Should I refresh?


#3

Dunno - but they had 6 freaking thousand bags of crap?


#4

Yeah, and sold out. And I got one. Happy Dance!!!


#5

how are all the lemmings doing?


#6

I think we need a vacation.

A long vacation. Far away from the people that keep summoning us to perform deeds.


#7

Huh? Who wants you to do what? Except staying away from those cute little hamsters for a while.


#8

Tis the night before Christmas, and that evil mouse
dreamaster is stirring, scurrying thru his house
The plans are hung by the mission board with care
For hopes of world domination would soon be there

The humans were nestled all snug in their beds
While visions of taxes, and social programs danced thru their heads.
With spirit gnawing on a leg bone, and I in my chair
Had settled to work in front of the monitors glare

When the alarms went off and made such a blather
I sprang to the alert board to see what was the matter
To the threat board I went and triggered the flash
The scanners looked to the heavens, and the screen painted the splash

The glow of the scan painted the show,
Gave the details, of the threat below
When to my devious eyes should appear
A pathetic attack squad, that was drinking some beer

With a little old nemesis, so nice with wit
I knew it in a moment, it was evil St. Nick.
More Rabid than F-16’s his missiles came
And he whistled and shouted, and called me a bad name

You louse, you rat, you devious git
I’ll kill you now, you spurious Sh%t.
To the tops of your roof and the bottom of your walls,
I’ll blast your lair, and tear off your balls

As the missiles cut loose, and the bullets began to fly
Blasting the mountain where my evil lair lie
So up to the exhaust port ole St Nick Flew
With a plethora of weapons, and a Nuke or two,

And then on the grid, I heard of proof
The use of WMD’s - St Nick is a goof.
So I pulled in my squads, and triggered the sound
Of a full red alert, with weapons unbound.

He was dressed in attack armor, from his head to his feet
And it was soiled, from blast dust, and concrete
A chain gun he had strapped to his back,
And thousands of rounds left in his sack.

His eyes blazed madly, his mouth was foaming
His face was all red, and his spittle was flowing
His droll little mouth was framed with a sneer
He dragged off a long draught of that wretched beer.

A stump of a joint was locked in his teeth
And the smoke encircled his head like a wreath.
His eyes blazed with madness, his hands on his belly
Holding some napalm, that looked like old jelly

He was lean and mean, a right evil elf
and I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself
A wink of his eye, and a twist of his head
was all that was left when I shot him dead!

He spoke not a word, and smoke started to spurt
And then he caught fire, that dumb little jerk
My rounds had caught him right in the nose
And twitching and writhering his life came to a close

I wracked up one more as a slay, and triggered the green alert whistle
For the threat was gone, and all it took was a pistol.
Listen to me when I stop and say (in all my might)
Happy Christmas to all, and to all - note my good fight!


#9

If you go on vacation you will not need your bag of crap.
Can I have it?
You know you will just set it on fire.


#10

Clap, clap, clap.


#11

Wow! Did you just write that now?!? Good work DM!

And Merry Christmas!! [:D]


#12

Yep - sat down, typed it out, and then passed out from too much Christmas Beer. er - I mean cheer…


#13

No flaming Christmas trees?


#14

Bonfire tonight, perhaps!!