I am NOT Just a Bill
The Universe of Scholastic Rock illustrated in the style of Quentin Tarantino.
And, YES, this shirt has been submitted to the derby multiple times. But, no, it’s never printed—here or elsewhere.
(I wrote this for an earlier iteration of this design.
I include it here for my own amusement.
Does anyone even check DISCUSS THIS DESIGN anymore?)
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How different would our Saturday Mornings have been back in the 1970s if Quentin Tarantino had directed the Scholastic Rock shorts?
Here is a glimpse into that alternate past…
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Education is a dish best served cold.
The Kill Bill:
I’m just a bill
Yes, I’m only a bill,
And I got as far as Capitol Hill.
Well, now I’m stuck in committee,
And I’ll sit here and wait
While a few key Congressmen discuss and debate
Whether they should let me be a law.
How I hope and pray that they will,
But today I am still just a bill.
Boy:
Listen to those congressmen arguing! All that discussion and debate is about you. And you’re one of the lucky ones. Most bills never even get this far. I hope they decide to report on you favorably, otherwise you may die in committee.
The Kill Bill:
F* that.
The Kill Bill unsheaths his Hattori Hanzo sword and kills all but a handful of the committee members in an explosion of blood and gore.
The Kill Bill:
Those of you lucky enough to have your lives, take them with you. However, leave the limbs you’ve lost. They belong to me now.
Then he approaches the Committee Chairperson, dressed in all white. She holds up her hands in protest…
The Committee Chairperson:
Kill Bill… it’s your baby…
The Kill Bill lops off her head.
Fade to black.