I want my goddamn puppy.

I just made a purchase by navigating from the daily email, so it’s on a different device from that with the Woot app, and I get this in the confirmation:

"You should get the Woot! app. It’s got special deals, order updates, and free puppies."

When I DO use the app, I never get offered puppies. I’ve seen no mention of puppies. So how come I don’t get my puppy even when I do use the app?!?!

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Here:

happy now?

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@notmatty (one of Woot’s writers) has been promising to send me his dog, Ruby, for several months and so far I’ve received NOTHING.

I don’t know, maybe it’s the pandemic? I’m trying to give Woot the benefit of the doubt here but it’s tough.

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A woot puppy would in reality be some kind of shifty ground dwelling rodent who eats your mail.

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Not to mention @notmatty still owes us new #wootafterdark content. :cry: His new found YouTube fame must be going to his head.

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Everybody else calls those “cats”.

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Here for any additional puppy pics.

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Cats do not live in the ground. But I think there’s a ground squirrel… what I meant was a nutria.

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YES MORE FIRESIDE STORIES AND RUBY!

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PUPPY!!!

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You’ve got to subscribe to his onlyfans, that’s where all the premium content is.

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Oh god no.

Just $9.98 per month - that’s cheaper than a BOC and an excellent value!

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The other kids put it up as “buy me a coffee” which is fine. I can convince myself it’s not for drugs.

But his says “contribute to a foot rub” and I’m pretty sure that’s exactly what it is for.

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Check the very bottom of the box, you probably got one and overlooked it…

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I live in the Bay Area. All my mail is stolen anyway.

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Why do you steal mail?

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