LAST POST XII: The Postening. Post early, post often, but above all, post last


#5301

I tried throwing away my trashcan, but the garbage men won’t take it.

Last Post!


#5302

A man knocked on my door and asked for a small donation for a local swimming pool. So I gave him a glass of water.

Last Post!


#5303

If I got 50 cents for every math test I failed…
I’d have $7.38

Last Post


#5304

which could be entirely plausible if you started out with $2.38 and then failed 20 math tests.

Last Post!


#5305

I have kleptomania.
But when it gets bad, I take something for it.

Last
Post


#5306

I went along to the local Kleptomaniacs Anonymous meeting but all the seats were taken.

Last Post


#5307

The main reason that the French eat snails: they don’t like fast food.

Last Post


#5308

A turtle was walking down the street when he was attacked by a gang of snails.

When asked by the police what happened he said, “I don’t know, it all happened so quickly.”

Last Post


#5309

Why did they fire the cross-eyed teacher?

Because she couldn’t control her pupils.

Last
Post


#5310

People don’t like having to bend over to get their drinks. We really need to raise the bar.

Last Post


#5311

It’s pointless to tell a bald guy a hair-raising story.

LP


#5312

Shouldn’t pregnant women be called body builders?

Last Post


#5313

I tried to record an album in a reptile shop, but there was a terrible gecko.

Last Post!


#5314

I once got into so much debt that I couldn’t even afford my electricity bills, they were the darkest times of my life.

Last Post


#5315

I lost my job at a bank on the very first day.

A woman asked if I would check her balance, so I pushed her over.
Last post


#5316

Give a man a plane ticket and he’ll fly for a day. Push a man from a plane and he’ll fly for the rest of his life.

Last Post


#5317

https://d.justpo.st/media/images/2013/06/f66f1c4a279bf51776c87c0f437ff14d.jpg

LP


#5318

A neutron goes into a bar and asks the bartender, “How much for a drink?” The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”

Last Post


#5319

Some members of the royal family moved into my neighborhood. They live Tudors down.

Last Post!


#5320

A city in Alaska passed a law outlawing all dogs. It became known as Dogless Fairbanks.
Last Post