Nine friggin’ pounds of mustard, plus 11 grams of Fat? What mustard has that much fat? Even Dijonaise doesn’t have that much. Maybe if the economy keeps going south, I can dole this out at the soup line on the 50% fat burgers and near-beef hotdogs…
I think it was Esquire, but they had a pretty succinct example of the pretentiousness of wine descriptions. It was something like:
Inadequate: Tasty in the mouth. Fruit and a lot of other stuff going on.
Acceptable: Viscous. Aromas of berries. Earthy undertones.
Recommended: Pleasant mouth feel with a velvety texture. Red fruit aromas. Also, scents of damp forest floor, and toast.
Slightly-over-the-top: Sexy and sultry, the wine enters with an silky mouth feel. One can sense the summertime fruit harvest of cherries, raspberries, and strawberries. Mushrooms and peat entertain the senses with a long, stern finish of toasted oak.
Should never be used by any self-respecting man: Gripping and legendary entrance. The palate is inundated with a kalediscope of flavors and aromas, all wrapped up in unctuous, velveteen mouthfeel with a finish that seemingly lasts decades. The fruit is unmistakable. Bright bing cherries. Frasier river raspberry aromas delight the senses. Lingering hints of jammy red fruits enhance, but don’t detract from this wonderfully balanced gem from (insert AVA). Signature tones of wet-spring morels round out this impeccable wine from (insert winemaker). Pain grille and turkish-aged tobacco round out this beautiful wine.
I like to make a glaze for chicken, pork and other meats that is 1/2 cup mustard, 1/2 cup of chili sauce (I like the chinese sweet chili sauce) and 1/4 cup ketchup. If you want to add garlic, ginger and chilies that would be nice too. About a good tablespoon chopped of each unless you want to add more.
This sauce is awesome on ribs too.
