New uses for old things

We all have tricks we use to save money or time, so post them here.

Example:

Item: Lemon
Use: Use with some salt to clean a copper pan.
Notes: Cut lemon in two, salt it and use to scrub bottom of pan.

Item: Pipe cleaner
Use: Mega twistie ties.
Notes: Great for use on those cords behind the TV, use colored ones to color code items as well.

Item: gasoline
Use: fuel for car (quicker travel than bicycle for long distances)
Notes: use sparingly, gas is becoming more expensive

Item: Child
Use: Anything an adult doesn’t want to do
Notes: Bribe with ice cream, cookie, or if the child is trained well, a sticker for a chore board.

cause all you actual wire ties are being used for bondage sessions?

Item: bicycle
Use: recycle the metal to make new shiny car
Notes: make sure car uses lots of gas so that its worth the energy used in recycling

Item: Senior citizens
Use: Food source for younger, more productive members of society.
Notes: May require marinating overnight to assure tenderness.

Item: Old Dog
Use: New Tricks
Notes: They say this can’t be done, but my phone booth time machine ought to help with that, dudes!

Shut up, Ted!

notes: After eating you may develop an exaggerated need to keep the neighborhood quite and your lawn untouched by human or animal feet.

Item: Everything But Wooters
Use: hot air for popping popcorn
Notes: getting hard to find

Item: Thread
Use: Everything but its title
Note: Pirates of woot love this (mis)use.

Item: Old Sneakers
Use: Lawn Mowing/Yard Work Sneakers
Notes: Don’t wear them in the house after working in the yard, dudes!

Item: syringe (with needle)
Use: toothpick
Note: careful. very careful.

Dr. J,

I always use used needles I find in alleyways for this purpose, they’re so much more convenient to use than needles I have to tear out of the packaging.

well, sure.

if you can find any.

Item: Young people
Use: Rejuvenation
Note: Remove blood, place in your vanes.

Item: Spell Checker.
Use: Destroying spelling ability and causing confusion between homophones.
Note: “veins” :wink:

Item: Baroque
Use: When you’re out of Monet
Notes: A good Gigue if you can Gavotte it

Item: Condoms
Use: Water balloon
Notes: Fill it with water, tie it, and you have a no slip balloon

Item: Milk Jugs
Use: Flower Pot
Notes: Cut it in half, use as flower pot