Overheard in the Office


#761

“Your bladder’s obviously not as small as mine.”


#762

“It’s just like, if they push into you, you can’t keep them out.”


#763

“I personally don’t like it, but it smells good on you!”


#764

“Hey, that’s a nice shirt you’re wearing.”

“Thank you, it was outrageously expensive. Someone of your means likely could not afford it.”


#765

“I just did a big weekend dump.”


#766

“Whoa! Matt, you’re looking good! Holy crap, look at you!”


#767

“No! Dustin! Don’t touch my box!”


#768

“This vanilla Tootsie Roll tastes like givling Play-Doh!”


#769

“Oooo! Are those boots new? How wonderful, you finally found boots big enough to fit your calves!”


#770

“Kenny, why are you wearing two pairs of pants?”


#771

“I hope my eggs don’t stink. Kenny, can you smell them?”


#772

“I’ve started the new year right. I’m ready to kick ass and take names.”


#773

“There used to be cookies here!”


#774

“He must have majored in chicken djoy in college. How many people does it take to point out the obvious?”


#775

“I tell you, it don’t pay to go on vacation. Look at all this work piled up while I was gone?”


#776

“I’m pretty tan. Probably because I’m full of crap.”


#777

“Are you drinking heavily yet? Because you will be.”


#778

“My drawers are always open for you, Kelly.”


#779

“We won’t do immoral things. We won’t do illegal things. But we may have to do unnatural things to pull this thing off.”


#780

“Winning!”

(I didnt know that was still a thing)