Overheard in the Office


“Your bladder’s obviously not as small as mine.”


“It’s just like, if they push into you, you can’t keep them out.”


“I personally don’t like it, but it smells good on you!”


“Hey, that’s a nice shirt you’re wearing.”

“Thank you, it was outrageously expensive. Someone of your means likely could not afford it.”


“I just did a big weekend dump.”


“Whoa! Matt, you’re looking good! Holy crap, look at you!”


“No! Dustin! Don’t touch my box!”


“This vanilla Tootsie Roll tastes like givling Play-Doh!”


“Oooo! Are those boots new? How wonderful, you finally found boots big enough to fit your calves!”


“Kenny, why are you wearing two pairs of pants?”


“I hope my eggs don’t stink. Kenny, can you smell them?”


“I’ve started the new year right. I’m ready to kick ass and take names.”


“There used to be cookies here!”


“He must have majored in chicken djoy in college. How many people does it take to point out the obvious?”


“I tell you, it don’t pay to go on vacation. Look at all this work piled up while I was gone?”


“I’m pretty tan. Probably because I’m full of crap.”


“Are you drinking heavily yet? Because you will be.”


“My drawers are always open for you, Kelly.”


“We won’t do immoral things. We won’t do illegal things. But we may have to do unnatural things to pull this thing off.”



(I didnt know that was still a thing)