Overheard in the Office


Overheard in Costco “There sure are a lot of human beings in here. I wonder what planet that are from?”


(Clipping Fingernails) Several times each and every day.


“I mowed the lawn yesterday and it killed me. I’m still alive today, but it killed me.”


Years ago: Employee came to me and said, so and so sold me bad crack.


“…Have you ever spent any time with three young boys?”




“Well, as usual, the figurehead will ultimately make the decision…”


“I have on a ton of lotions, potions, and perfumes!”


“Do you wash your meat before you eat it?”


“I hooked up with Dennis”


“I learned over the last couple years, as I’ve gained so much weight, that all the clothes I thought were stretchy, really aren’t stretchy.”


“By my second glass of wine, you don’t want to know what I think about that.”


“Yours is the first pair I’ve actually seen in real life.”


“This stuff I put in my hair made it really crunchy!”


“Yours is the first pair I’ve actually seen in real life.”

  • Hahaha! I wonder what he/she was referring to? :slight_smile:


“So you were dry humping your desk when you broke your stretchy pants?”


oH, DEAR GOd, thEre’s DoughNutS!


“I have big hands and I like grabbing things a lot.”


^^^^ Donald Trump quote!


“He’s a big fat liar. Screw him!”