Overheard in the Office


“You don’t like carrots? Wooo-OOOO-ooow!”


“At some point, someone’s going to have to tell her to shut up.”


“Robitussin is the best! I just chug it, it’s great!”


“The harder you beat it, the more stuff will come out.”


“Who owns the 5 containers of buttermilk in the refrigerator?”


“I got lipstick on my cheek? What the Hell? I completely missed?”


“You have a little back cleavage.”


“I could smell you from all the way over at the copy room.”


“I don’t know how it got bent, all I did was pull it out.”


“You are the most obnoxious person in the world.”


“Did you not use deodorant today, Steve?”


“…and that’s how I found out that my husband cheats.”


“Oh my gosh, it’s to tiny I can’t see it!”

“…do you want to borrow my glasses?”


“The cake in the kitchen is crap.”


“How did you get that thing back in there?”


“I had my hand in my pocket and was just rubbing it.”


“I went home and beat every child that I own.”


“Push the button.
Just push the button.
Push the button, Linda.
Push the button, Linda.
God didn’t talk to you and tell you to wake up this morning.
You got to push the button, Linda!
Just push it!


“The size doesn’t bother me, it’s the way it looks.”


“I’m a little formal in the restroom.”