“A minute ago it was… tiny. But then I hit it, and now I’m a happy camper.”
“Pat said ‘hump.’”
Contractor 1: Adidas stands for “All day I dream about sex.”
contractor 2: “No way! Really?”
“Sure, it smells good now, but just wait a couple of hours.”
Unless you happen to be in southeastern Pennsylvania.
“There’s going to be a strange man standing around here for a little while. Just ignore him and go about your business.”
“It’s okay, you can hold it and smell it.”
“Can I pee under your legs? Can I pee under your legs? Heh heh heh…”
You work in a very weird place.
“I don’t like the smell, but I like the feel.”
On hearing that Jessica Parker will go shopping with anyone for $400 … “Why would anyone pay that when you can rent a real horse for $200?”
“Anywhere it fits is fine…”
“It’s self-explanetary.”
Not an “overheard,” but there was hair in the sink at work today. Someone is friggin shaving at work.
“It’s okay, I’ll just whip off my shirt!”
“I don’t bite into anything that’s hard.”
“Let me pull this out and see if I can get it to work.”
“You came really fast. That was weird.”
“I just feel that I need to dangle this here. It’s just so cute, everybody should see it.”
“I didn’t know she did that, but I like it, it helps it to pop out.”