Overheard in the Office


#941

“Did you get them because everybody knows you like nuts?”


#942

“I hope this salad doesn’t kill me.”


#943

“Now that he’s on me all the time, I wish I went a little bit harder on him when I was on him.”


#944

“It’s very moist. You’re going to get a big piece.”


#945

One way or another, before tonight, we’re going to have a go at it.


#946

“How do you know the toilet water’s cold, Jens? Do YOU drink from it?”


#947

“Wheels are proven science! We’ve been using them for thousands of years!”


#948

“It tells me ‘no’ all the time, but I keep hitting it until it lets me in.”


#949

“She drooled a lot, but didn’t throw up all weekend.”


#950

“I got this thing here, but I got no idea what to do with it.”


#951

“I tried to shove it back too far, and it’s not going to go back that far.”


#952

“High fiving him was like high fiving a 5-year-old.”


#953

“I was in Mexico, and they didn’t have sour cream there to put on my taco! Do you know how hard it is to eat a taco without sour cream? I mean, come on, I’m an American, we invented Mexican food, so Mexico better step it up here!”


#954

“Oh, sorry, my finger didn’t quite go where I thought it was going to go.”


#955

“Nobody brags about eating salads, Joyce!”


#956

“Hot flashes or not, it feels good.”


#957

“Jens jerked it down and it went down.”


#958

“It’s the first time for me too, John”


#959

“You didn’t even see my whole cucumber, how do you know how big it was?”


#960

“It’s true that if you don’t use it, you lose it. But… there are different ways that you can use it.”