Overheard in the Office

“You can’t really squeeze this thing any more, I don’t think you can get any more out of it.”

I recently learned that this is a thing…

https://www.originalpoopknife.com/

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REALLY?

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Really… Reddit - Dive into anything

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My mom and I can’t stop laughing. Thank you.

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Oh, I know. I about spit out my coffee when I read it the first time. lol. You’re welcome. :smiley:

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“Oooo… that’s too big. It’s not going to fit”

“The more you turn that nut, the tighter it gets.”

“Apparently you can’t buy sex toys with state funds anymore”

Brand new male CEO to me, HR Director, on his first day: “I’m going to need your help with a dress code. I don’t know how long a dress should be? I don’t wear dresses.”

Me, showing absolute disregard for the power structure but unable to stop myself: “Well, I guess I’ll have to dispel THAT rumor.”

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“I’m trying to make it as tight as I can.”

“I think I can make it real small and squeeze you in, I’m going to try it now…”

“You can’t even imagine how many cows”

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“I’m not going to say you’re lying, but you really have a loose relationship with the truth…”

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“You have to be careful with those child parts…”

“Unplug it. Wait 15 seconds. Plug it back in.”

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Works almost every time

“I need to drink heavily tonight.”
-Rick, 2:45pm, Tuesday

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Rick is my spirit animal.

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“That thing needs to be stuck through a hole.”

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