Seattle snowmageddon! Everybody panic on this thread.

#1

So… today there is a BIIIIG snow storm in Seattle and everyone is working from home. @davejlives has somehow bought out all the eggs in Seattle and is selling a free range, gluten free, chicken egg for $45. He also wants to tell people that the chicken has a happy life becuase it has access to a pool, has a special account at the local organic coffee place and has an annual bus pass.

Becuase we don’t get much snow in Seattle - we want some tips and tricks on how to survive 5 inches of snowfall that is exepected shortly. This is a communal panic thread.

SNOW IN SEATTLE
#2

OLIVE GARDEN IS RUNNING LOW ON BREADSTICKS

#3

DO NOT take home all the breadsticks. @wajeremy will get ultra salty and things won’t end well

#4

“ULTRA SALTY” GOOD ONE

#5

My local grocery store had nothing except baby food.
Looks like we will be surviving on purees and lighting up the kids’ extra clothes for heat. We all have to make sacrifices.

#6

Grocery store is out of milk and bread. Their spice rack is full though…

#7

:obligatory snark from former East Coaster about how seattle doesn’t know how to handle snow:

#8

What are some winter driving tips?
Most of us use cars, but @arsibaba1 usually rides a horse into work. Not sure if they need spiky shoes or what…?

#9

Don’t drive, just get the dog sleds ready:

tenor%20(3)

#10

Good call. The last time I got hangry due to breadsticks, I removed all the exclamation marks from the category names. Who knows what would happen this time?

#11

Is anyone friends with Macgyver? I need to know how I can make a space heater in case I lose power. I have a pen, a button, quarter slice of pizza from Costco, and a toothbrush. How do I put them together to make a space heater?

#12

That was you??? Bring them back. They remind me of baguettes.

#13

THE IMPORTANT QUESTION IS

DOES 7-11 STILL HAVE THOSE HOT DOGS ON THE ROLLY BARS AVAILABLE??
IF THEY’RE OUT, Y’ALL ARE DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMED.

#14

Can confirm. Convenience Store Inadvertent Laxatives still well stocked.

#15

Assuming the button is metal. Rub the pen and the button against each other reaaaaaally fast and create sparks. Use the sparks to light up the toothbrush bristles. Apply the bristles to the pizza, and set it on fire. Boom: space heater that’ll last for at least 45 seconds.

#16

THIS IS HILARIOUS

#17

You’re also gonna have to acquire a paperclip, 4 inch piece of wire and some hydrogen peroxide to do it right.

#18

FYI Seattle has replaced standard USD as currency with ice melt.

#19

I bet everything that’s left in the grocery stores has raisins in it - raisin bread, raisin cookies, raisin bagels, raisins.

#20

Just stay indoors until it melts. Certainly the safest plan…