You know, call me oldschool but if you’re not sporting the Mad Max, Last of the Turbo Interceptors, Armageddon-proof snowblowers, you’ve failed. This wasn’t some single-stage failure of engineering here folks. It was a massive feat of engineering with drift cutters.
My neighbors used to tease me about my snowblower, they all had their little tiny emo looking snow blowers like the one above. Mine? Sounded like I was starting a Harley at 4 AM each morning, and just to be extra annoying I’d adjust the choke real good for several minutes to ensure maximum loudness as it warmed up.
Then I’d spend about 5 minutes clearing the drive and sidewalk, because let’s face it this thing was monstrous and there usually wasn’t much snow.
The neighbors would occasionally joke about my snow blower, I didn’t care. You know why I didn’t care?
It was nearly 10 years ago to this day I tell you, the day I became the hero of the neighborhood having saved a Thursday night in January from certain doom.
After getting home early that day I parked my car in the driveway and spent 3 hours watching it snow. I watched as the plows drove by our development desperately trying to keep the arterial clear, completely bypassing the neighborhood streets.
About 5:30 I suited up, full head-to-toe black snowsuit with built-in hood, face-mask, ski goggles, nice warm gloves, and matching boots.
I stepped out into my garage, opened the door, and set to work. Checked the oil, topped the gas off, made sure the chains were good and tight. Then I fired that baby up. I didn’t mess around with the choke as it wasn’t 4 AM, everyone was already awake, most of them were trying to get home, but they were getting stuck in the road next to my house, and backing up steadily.
I cleared my drive, I cleared the 24" snow drifts covering my sidewalks, then I kept going. I cleared the neighbors driveways and sidewalks, the neighbors desperately trying to shovel their cars out enough to get traction in the street. It was time for action. I stepped off the driveway and into the street with my snowblower heading down the street away from the stranded cars for as far as I had cleared the neighbors before turning around. Up and down the road I walked, one pass, two passes, three passes, and on the 4th pass I kept going, right past the neighbors and their cars all the way to the arterial and back again until the other lane was cleared and people could work their way around them.
As each neighbor dug their car clear enough to get out of the morass of snow, I would clear the space their car had occupied until they were all home safely in their driveways and garages. That night, several of my neighbors came by with beer, and even a bottle of scotch as a thank you. They never again laughed about my snow blower that could.
This thing above? This isn’t a snow blower, it’s the emotional equivalent of trying to slit your wrists with an electric shaver. You only by this thing because you hate yourself and feel you deserve to suffer… Or you live somewhere that it rarely snows and it’s fashionable to own a black scale model of a snow blower.
I bought a single stage snow thrower also 21 inch electric right here on Woot last season for $99. Now let me tell you what I did with it…I gave the thing away to my next door neighbor. He’s not only my next door neighbor, he’s the streets lousiest neighbor. He insists using an old and VERY noisey 12 horse power thrower for nothing more than a light snow dusting when he could use a shovel. So I gave him my nice new red Mastang and a roll of cheap electric cord as well. This was a bargain for me…I can now sleep on weekend mornings. THIS IS THE WHOLE TRUTH SO HELP ME.
Eh, 6.5 out of 10 BoCs on that one. The spelling errors and lack of originality just was missing.
In truth, minus some obvious Hollywood licensing, my neighbors did in fact give me crap about my snowblower (It belonged to my grandfather and was one of his prized possessions before he died.) but I did actually plow the street with it so my neighbors (and my wife) could get home.
I went back the next morning and cleared out the 3’ drift in front of everyone’s driveway from when the plows finally did come through so they could get out and go to work the next morning
The scotch from the neighbor was a nice touch though.
Now I just live somewhere that it rarely snows, and even more rarely I have to shovel.
I purchased a single stage like this earlier this year and I am super happy with it. I regard it as more of a power shovel, it does a great job of getting down the surface, as opposed to the larger two stage models with metal augers… they leave a small amount of snow.
I can now clear my 120’ of sidewalk and driveway, and my neighbor’s front walks in about 1/10th of the time it took me to shovel.
I own a large snow blower that can handle around 10" of snow. I have elderly neighbors on both sides and snow blow their sidewalks and driveways whenever we get measurable snow. It takes me about an hour to snow blow three houses. That’s worth every penny I paid for my snow blower. I wouldn’t be without it.
In response to xavoc’s post:
This was probly the best post ever. Should be submitted to Silent Sport magazine…but that’s right, sounds like anything but silent:)
Living in Wisconsin, where we either have a dusting or a foot, this thrower would be little more than garage clutter. I’ll stick with a good shovel and a two stage.
Can I use this to clean up all the oranges that fall from my citrus trees?
Picked up the dinky electric blower last year, since I’ve the biggest driveway in the neighborhood. Worked well enough for the DC area. I have a gas powered two-stage blower to compare it to at my inlaws. I use them both every time it snows, and frankly, I spend more time cleaning out the chute on the gas blower than I do cleaning out the chute on this one.
I’m from Florida… I’m at a loss as to why anyone would want to own a lawnmower with an erection.
The reality is you need two snow blowers.
A small light one with rubber blades that will go down to the sidewalk.
A huge monster for the deep snow.
So far we have the smaller one. I’m the one who does most of the snow removal and I don’t want to deal with the big monster.
There are times only the big monster will handle it.
Or we can just move to someplace warm. Hubby is all for it.
I hate hot weather in the summer, so does Rusty.
Then again, I really hate shoveling snow.
Guess we will see where the kids end up when they have my grandkids.
Gotta get in grandkid time when the kids are young!
Yes you are from Florida.
There is an alternative - look for something called a Snow Scoop, it is a big blue “shovel” that sells for $40 - $70, depending on seller (check Amazon). I got one as a backup to my 2-stage 928 blower. I can clean my 2500 sq.ft. driveway with it almost as fast as I can with the blower, and it’s easier on the back because you’re not wrestling a big blower around, and there is no lifting involved. You just slide the snow to where you want it. Works great on end-of-driveway slush that the snowplow leaves behind, also. It will take a 2-foot wide bite out of the snow, no matter how deep.
I have already owned a Poulan gas leaf blower and a Poulan gas lawn edger. You get what you pay for (sometimes less if you’re not so lucky) and I told myself that those were the last Poulan products that I would ever buy.
Wisconsinite checking in as well. I have two snow blowers. A $99 electric “snow clearer” for the 1-3" of light fluffy stuff.
Then there’s my beast for everything else. It may be 25 years old, but they don’t make them like they used to. It’s an 8HP Briggs 6 speed 28" dual-stage snow thrower, it has been upgraded with chained tires and an electric start in recent years.
I wouldn’t spend $250 on a single stage snow blower. I’d drop the extra $200 and get a small dual stage snow thrower.
That depends if you’re just wanting to masticate them or use them for batting practice. You’ll need a 2 stage model for batting practice.