“We made our machete in the shape of a Roman gladius!”
“Why?”
“Because weirdo crypto nerds love Roman crap and tacticool gear!”
“Is it at least better than a traditional machete?”
“Nope! It’s actually a lot worse due to the shape and the suboptimal weight distribution.”
“…”
“Anyway, buy one at your local clearance bin.”
[Vmod edit: removed an unnecessary adjective.]
A machete is made for slashing, while a Gladius is made for stabbing.
Well… I almost got through the day without thinking of the Roman Empire.