The Fortune Cookie says:

Hey search your wallet, the car dash, the pocket of your jackets,the drawers in the kitchen, taped to mirrors in bedrooms and for some; purses…
Wherever you’ve stashed it , find it and post it here.
I love my fortunes. The best ones have been translated incorrectly!!
Here’s one i have right now

  • You Will find fortune

best way to read 'em is to put the words ‘in bed’ after it

ms. dontwantaname’s fortune probably says “take rusty for a walk, he wants to take a dump…”


Or ‘except in bed’. XD

that’s how I was taught to read them. I have a jar full in my bedroom, I meant to make a fortune poster at some point. The top of the poster was going to say “Today Your Fortune Is. . . .” then all the fortunes, and the words, “… in Bed.”

–A lifetime of happiness lies ahead of you.

–Something weird will happen at work this week.

I’ll go ahead and hotlink it:

I used to read Garfield a lot when I was younger. My favorite fortune came from the 7 August 1992 strip (unfortunately, they don’t seem to have a way to link directly to a comic, so you have to enter the date). The fortune was:

A runaway hubcap from a speeding car will lodge itself up your nose.

–Soon life will become more interesting

–Alas! You are the apple of my eye.

You will make an important contact at a social gathering.

actuaallyy … i think i started a fortune thread in 2007

[this sounds alot like my child telling me what year a video game was released]

Help, I’m trapped in a fortune cookie factory!

Lucky numbers 9 88 12 91 17…

Please start a new “or” thread. That was one of your good ones.

Keep an eye open for an opportunity in the field of sports.

— mmmmKay whatever that means.

“You are captivating, careful and capable.”


I’m not sure. I accidentally ate the fortune.

i did…

“one of the good ones” i might get a big head.

“Is it better to meet girl in park or park meat in girl?”

mmm meat

i mean, no comment

Your lover will never leave wich to leave you

I can’t find any fortunes laying around, but I do have a strawberry Laffy Taffy wrapper in my pocket from some candy that I swiped from an Easter Basket this morning. Thus, a joke:

How do you make an egg roll?

Push it.