"The Person Below Me" ~ A game of assumptions

#621

Well, I can’t attest to be the very first person to be turned into a newt by that false-nosed witch. However, I can say it’s never good to call a false-nose witch names and it’s very difficult to type on a computer when you’re a newt.

The person below me tried to go to the Olympics, to be on the American Horseshoes Team. They were so sad then they found out there is no Horseshoes Team.

#622

And I was even sadder when I found out that the horses who perform in equestrian don’t even wear horseshoes

The person below me keeps trying to return their Brag of Carp back to woot

#623

Shhh… I’m trying the ol’ switch-a-roo with a real bag-o-poo

The person below me prefers three tined forks over four tined forks.

#624

And the reason is quite obvious to everyone, I would think! When eating peas, they must be stabbed three to a fork, not four! That would be one pea too many!!

The person below me believes that they are living in an alternate universe on Tuesdays.

#625

I refer to them a Duestays, if you think Mondays are bad… you should try living through a Duestay… its a Duesie of a way to spend 14.3% of your life

The person below me rolls around in a bathtub of rice to dry off, instead of using a towel.

#626

Yeah, I read a post on Pinterest that said it would soften my skin and help my arthritis, but I had to stay at least an hour. I think it’s working!

The person below me has a pet chicken they keep inside the house wearing diapers. It’s toenails are painted blue and it steals the cat’s food.

#627
#628

The chicken’s name is Fried. I take Fried chicken everywhere I go & love to go to the movies with Fried chicken. The all 40 of my cats are getting tired of Fried eating their food, though.

The person below me considers cotton candy to be a wise choice for a healthy diet.

#629

Well for me, the article was a TLDR, but here is your evidence Stunning Health Benefits of Cotton Candy Discovered

The person below me once competed in a monster truck rally riding on a hippo.

#630

Well, I did do that. Did you know that you can get Hippo Saddles on Amazon?

The person below me only wears one shoe at a time. That way, they last twice as long.

#631

They last even more than twice as long, as I tend not to walk less since I instituted mt 1 shoe policy. Do you know how hard it is to walk with 2 feet in the same shoe??

The person below me just started selling perfume that smells like gasoline, since everyone loves the smell of gasoline

#632

it’s a very small but dedicated market… just a side job… bringing in about $12.50 a month!!!

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the person below me…
puts advantage II on their self, so they don’t have ticks or fleas…

#633

I actually use Revolution because it also prevents heartworm.

The person below memail eats raw eggs and drinks hot water to make poached eggs in their belly.

#634

Yes. It actually works out great! I tried cooking bacon and pancakes in my stomach also, with bad results…

The person below me keeps a wild tiger in their house for a back-scratcher.

#635

I’m keeping Bactine in business.

The person below me tips the stripper in change.

#636

damn right!! with Sacagawea dollars !!!

the person below me… has multiple old coffee containers, full of sacagawea’s.

#637

That’s my retirement you’re talking about!

The person below me secretly wants wine in the office water cooler.

#638

no, wine not so much… would be really cool though if BEER was in every office water cooler!!!

the person below me… wishes flower’s grew off of the top of their head…

#639

Sure! I have less hair every year, so some flowers up there would be nice (no thorny rose bushes, please).

The person below me started flipping their monthly calendar backward, hoping summer will stick around a little longer.

#640

yeah… but sadly it never works…

the person below me eats 1 pound of spinach everyday to get big muscles…