but unfortunately all it does is make my smile look weird in pictures (due to the spinach stuck in my teeth)
The person below me believes the following conversation happened between the City of Cleveland and the Devil:
CLEVELAND: We want a championship. DEVIL: ok, but you’ll have to host the Republican Convention.
DEVIL: Donald Trump is their nominee
CLE: Make it 2 championships and you have yourself a deal
I have a deal in place with the A.D.(Advertisement Defication) Network. They’re an informercial channel, sure they’re only carried by 1 provider on channel 548 from 2:16am-3:47am, but just you wait and see how many copies of “2016: The Nightmariring” we sell. After all, DVD is the new vinyl.
The person below me is figuring out how to cover up their Cleveland Indians 2016 WS Champs tattoo.
The barber, having just had a fight with his girlfriend, had just consumed a fifth of Jack Daniels and was going to go home. He was closing the barber shop when a guy rushed up to the barber’s front door.
The barber, not wanting to lose business, knocked on his front door for some odd reason.
The man then asked “Who’s there”? as he wanted to be sure that this was a barber shop.
The barber, who’s name was clearly printed on the front door “Oopsija’s Barber shop”, said “Oopsija” and opened the door.
The man, assured that this was the owner of the shop, rushed in and sat down in a barber chair. Wondering the barber’s last name, he asked him “Oopsija who”?
Being in a drunken stupor, Oopsija ignored him, not even asking what kind of haircut he wanted. He was dreaming about landscaping his front yard, possibly even pruning the hedges short on top and leaving them longer at the bottom.
He snapped out of it and remembered that he was giving a haircut. Oh, no! He had cut the mans hair short on the top & very long below!
The man asked if he was almost done.
All poor Oopsija could mumble before passing out was…
The man looked at Oopsija, passed out on the floor, then peeked in a mirror. He thought to himself… How did that barber know I wanted a mullet haircut? This was the best haircut he ever had received. He tipped Oopsija a $50 & walked out the door.
The person below never reads long boring stories about drunken barbers.