Things my parents/grandparents/family said.

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Like many of you, I have memories of some of the funny and loving things my parents or grandparents said. This is a place to share those with your fellow wooters!

My first one:

My maternal grandmother was a character. She married my grandfather, divorced him, married him again, divorced him, married someone else, divorced that one.

She lived with us for many year. She taught me how to play Rummy. We’d play many evenings. I still remember what she’d say when I win a hand and catch her with a ton of points.

Yes, she’s look me in the eyes and say, “You horse’s ass.”

That’s my grandma.


What’s your story?

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Off-the-boat Italian great uncle, and me knee-high to a grasshopper.

Me: “Uncle Tony, why is the squirrel in that cage?”

Tony: “I no likea the squirrel, they ruin a garden.”

Me: “What’s that big bucket for?” Pointing to a large galvanized washbasin.

Tony: “The squirrel, if she swim, she live. If not, oh well.”

Me: “But the bucket’s taller than the cage.”

Tony: “Oh, well.”

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3

My grandma calls my dad a horse’s ass (yes his own mother).

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4

My mother when helping me learn these words on restroom doors:

Men

and

WOAH-men

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5

Grandma would say something self-deprecating to make you laugh… She would then look at you like she was hurt… You would say, “I’m sorry” And she would say, “you look sorry.”
She had a great sense of humor.

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I don’t have great depth perception due to strabismus (crossed eyes, fixed).

Parking next to a building, I bumped it with the car.

Dad: That’s far enough.

Thanks Dad.

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Lol I like uncle tony.

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“You are not leaving the table until you’ve cleared your plate including the brussels sprouts”.

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9

“If you two don’t stop fighting, you’re both getting a whipping”

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10

“If you don’t do blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah we’re sending you to boarding school.”

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11

My brother (and all of at one point or another) worked in my dad’s pharmacy. He asked dad for a raise.

Dad told him to stand up on this stool he put out.

Dad: There, that’s all the raise you’re getting

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12

If a family member got upset about anything, the standard comment was,
“Will it matter in a year?”

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13

Me: Sitting in grandpa’s chair.

Grandpa: Walks into living room and glares.

Me: Runs away.

Grandpa didn’t need to say anything. We all knew when he came into the room, that was his chair and we had to get out.

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14

I was a new driver and driving some place I hadn’t been before. Had my map and directions (pre-GPS days). My dad said if I got lost, find a phone and call him for help.

Dad: Just don’t tell me you’re at the corner of “Walk” and “Don’t Walk”

Thanks Dad.

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15

Did you ever call your dad and say “hey, I’m at the hospital.” Then have to wait for them to stop flipping out until you can explain you’re fine. It’s because another family member was admitted.

I’m sure my voice was upset. I didn’t even think that he would assume it was me. He swears I said I was in the hospital.

22 years later and I’m still getting crap about that.

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16

Grandma always said commode (toilet) and Davenport (couch). Think she also said chest of drawers.

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My grandmother called a couch a davenport, too, which I think was pretty common in her time. The funny part was her last name was Davenport, so she effectively sat on herself.

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18

when we were little, my grandmother would tell us kids to quiet down or we’d wake the baby.

there was no baby.

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19

Creepy. I like it.

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20

Grandma was a charm, rest her soul. :heart:. You fall, go boom, break your ankle in the fancy cashmere socks she got you for Christmas, and she would watch you cry for 5 seconds and tell you to put a sock in it. She was trying to watch TPIR. If only she would tell me one more time…

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