Things my parents/grandparents/family said.

Grandma (same one that called us a horse’s ass)

Honey, I’m tired. Would you get up and go pee for me.

:w_shocked:

3 Likes

It was a running joke in my family that if someone said they were going to go to the bathroom, one of us would ask if they would go for them, too. It never worked.

2 Likes

When I was a kid, going to Grandma’s house meant I could raid her garden like a rabbit. Every single time she would yelll at me to get the hell out of her garden!

My punishment was weeding.
Go figure.

3 Likes

One fun moment was Dad and Grandma both having a friendly talk at Dinner, and the topic drifted to Grandma always unintentionally using Guilt Trips on people. (Which she obviously denied, but to her credit I don’t think she was aware of doing them. It came naturally.)

Less than 3 minutes after that, they’re finishing the bowl of asparagus, and there’s only one piece left. I wanted no part of it, since… ew. While Dad and Grandma were having a Canadian Standoff, continuously offering the piece to each other, before my Grandma finally won out and my dad took the asparagus for himself.

The SECOND he puts the asparagus in his mouth, but before closing it. Grandma… in complete sincerity says in a sad tone “I just won’t be able to have any for a long time…” I bust out laughing, and my dad takes it out of his mouth mid bite and gives the biggest “Are you kidding me?” look, while Grandma just looks at us like “What? Whats going on?”

5 Likes

“No son, don’t eat those batteries”

1 Like

This explains so much.

3 Likes

I come from a large family. Have about 20 or so cousins and in terms of age, I’m sort of the older one.
When I was 10, a bunch of us were all on this bed watching a movie. I grew up in an EXTREMELY conservative household so while watching the movie, we get to a part where the 2 people onscreen start kissing and some of us start giggling.

2 seconds in, out of nowhere, the screen starts to fast forward. We don’t know what’s going on and one of the little cousins hops to the edge of the bed to discover my grandmother had been sitting there the whole time and now her toe was on the forward button on the VCR. She casually looked up and just uttered one word.

‘No’.

3 Likes

My grandfather was a fisherman. He’s retired now because it’s a difficult job. Not the kind where you take a pole and got out for the weekend. Fishing as a livelihood is done on boats and it’s serious business.

When my grandfather would go out with the boat, we’d go camping. It was so much fun because I knew when he got back, we’d have fish. Fresh fish, straight from the ocean and into my belly. Plus I got to sleep under the stars so it always felt special.

One thing he would always say when going out was to “drink water”. I thought it was weird because he was surrounded by water, why would he need to drink more? Also, why would I?

Getting dehydrated while being out on the ocean can happen quickly and pretty regularly from what I’m told. Later, it made sense. He was telling us to drink water, just as much as he was saying it to remind himself. When he got older and his memory started to fade in and out, we’d tell him to “drink water” and that’d bring him right back to us.

So, drink water.

And now, I’m thirsty :grinning:

3 Likes