Viper 1-way Security System with Remote

Does this require professional installation?

Yes. Per the linked manual:

Installation
Due to the complexity of this system, installation of this product must only be performed by an authorized Directed dealer. If you have any questions, ask your retailer or contact Directed directly at 1-800-753-0600.

Also:

  • Make sure that you receive the proof of purchase from your dealer, indicating the product was installed by an authorized Directed dealer.

Would this alarm sound on glass breaks - for example, if someone was trying to, or smashed, a window, without opening a door?

Take a look at page 17 of the linked manual (features). I think that answers your question.

a) Does this alarm still speak in Darrell Issa’s (R-CA) voice?

b) Will pressing any of the remote’s buttons summon Congressman Issa to a town hall meeting? If so, which button(s)?

Huh! They’ve got answers on PAGES now!

Thanks!