Sledgehammer?!
I haz Fruitcake glamor!
Sledgehammer?!
I haz Fruitcake glamor!
With real fruit or that candied shit?
Build a cabin?!
Not when fruitcake is a happenin’!!
Boat anchor
Doorstop. No clunky noise. Just a pleasant sloshy thump.
I would suggest some of the same solutions from this forum:
Throw it at anyone that tries to break in to your home.
Donate it to a charity that serves meals. There are actually some people who like fruitcake.
Door stop. Those suckers are heavy!
Door stopper.
I’ll admit it. I like a small piece. With good liquor it’s a winner and even better with a good cigar. I must admit to only a few slices a year. (I keep my vices/indulgences mostly expensive and rare so I don’t go overboard.) HOWEVER, my mother’s fruitcake cookies which are about half the size of a “mini cupcake” are ridiculously addictive! (They’re also mostly candied cherries and local pecans. ) Next to her pound cake, they were the most sought-after deployment package goodies!
No one has said re-gifting???
Had the same fruitcake go back and forth for years between 2 friends.
Door holder
Tire chock
Door stop or boat anchor
I don’t leave my house without a fruitcake in my purse. It’ll make for a great weapon if I ever need one.
In all seriousness, fruit cake french toast. It’s delicious. Especially if it’s panettone.
Frisbe!
Boat anchor?!
Fruitcake flavor!
Sloshy thump?!
Fruitcake fist bump!