Which is meaner?

Which is meaner?

I assume it’s not a surprise colonoscopy reveal party, so everyone should know what they’re getting into. A half-size Kleenex, on the other hand, means more goo on you than you want. Even worse if it’s the last one.



I have seen a dolphin swim onto a beach to fill its mouth with rocks that it then spit at a horse on the beach to get that horse to leave. The horse that was on land and could have easily entered the water and stomped on the dolphin gave in to the dolphin, that could not get out of the water, and left. Dolphins are vicious.


Again with the Dolphins?

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I’m a bit afraid to ask, and not to be binary. But what are our color choices for the Colonoscopy Reveal party?



Considering that other “reveal” oriented events have involved cake, popping a balloon above your head and such…I mean could you imagine? (Poop, corn and some unusual partials that you swear you’ve never eaten before sludge out of a brightly frosted cake, just then your doctor climbs out from under the table with a concerned grimace and a metal clipboard, “surprise Mr. Jones, you have colon cancer.” Your family gasp as they are both outraged and mortified by the entire ordeal, not knowing whether to slap you or console you. Meanwhile, Aunt katey is frantically attempting to wash invisible dirt from her tongue. You chuckle, thinking; ‘shouldve listened when I said that no one should touch the cake the till the big reveal’ it’s alright though, you always hated her anyways, ever since she beat you at dominos back in 4th grade…)
…what were we discussing again?


Surprise blue cheese pancakes, because they made me think of blue waffles.