Yeah one of our hallways chats was “I bet some doofuses just pull the trigger too fast and end up with a $50 plastic banana.” But can we, just for a moment, enjoy the term “vainglorious putz” as penned by the writer? I don’t think enough laud has been heaped upon that phrase.
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I propose calling this a “CroC” (Crate o’ Crap) in the future, rather than a Woot Locker. CroC works on multiple levels.
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If you are going to do this again and have it as a Woot Locker actually put it in a small woot colored locker so that at least than you can open it up and see what is inside. It just makes the $50 price a little more reasonable if you get something like in my case 250 bouncy balls and a banana. Just a thought
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@ThunderThighs and @wajeremy I like this idea. Let’s have an off-site and talk about this. We can order Chinese food
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It is a crock of shit, and it stinketh…
In the beginning was the Plan.
And then came the assumptions.
And the assumptions were without substance.
And darkness was upon the face of the workers
And they spake amongst themselves, saying
“It is a crock of shit and it stinketh”.
And the workers went to their supervisors and sayeth
“It is a pile of dung and none may abide the odor thereof.”
And the supervisors went to the managers and sayeth unto them
“It is a container of excrement and it is very strong such that none may abide by it.”
And the managers went to the planners and sayeth unto them
“It is a vessel of fertilizer and none may abide its strength.”
And the planners went to the Assistant Directors and sayeth
“It contains that which aids growth and it is very strong.”
And the Assistant Directors went to the Deputy Assistant Director and sayeth
“It promoteth growth and it is very powerful.”
And the Assistant Deputy Director went to the Director and sayeth unto him
“This powerful new Plan will actively promote the growth and efficiency of the department.”
And the Director looked upon the Plan and saw that it was good.
And the Plan became policy!
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Don’t you mean “deficiency”?
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I hung up the elephant canvass in the basement near the bar. Wife has not mentioned it…yet.
Me: “Oh that? It’s been there for months.”
Her: …
Me: “Maybe if you’d go down there more often to do laundry or clean the litter box, you would have seen it.”
Her: [delivers a series of punishing blows all over my body]
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I like your wife.
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That’s ALL you got? She must like you.
Well, it hasn’t happen yet. Trying to be optimistic.
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Samesies.
I got a fake banana with the date & locker # written on it in black Sharpie and a map of Idaho.
Exactly what we all saw is absolutely exactly what I received; nothing more, nothing less. I suppose what we see IS real. And what we see IS what we think it is.
There was nothing inside the map of Idaho - I don’t know…maybe an Amazon gift card or something!!!
I totally endorse & agree with what you said. 100%.
Based on the language in the write-up & as a 12+ year Wooter, I was CONVINCED that this was going to be full of surprises. It really just took the wind outta my sails.
I guess the not-so-funny joke is on us!
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They wrote the number on the banana?!?
If so, I’d complain, as the video did NOT show writing on the banana, nor did Woot mention that facet.
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I Was a Bad Boy
Letter from Woot 
Hi Wooter,
So it sounds like you bought one of the Woot Lockers. Congratulations? Do you recall seeing these details on the detail page:
** IMPORTANT NOTE ** This is NOT a Bag o’ Crap! Seriously.
What if I just click “Buy” to mess with you guys? Tough luck there, hombre. When you purchase, you get whatever is in the box. If you look at the Twitch Stream and see a single banana in there, that’s what you just shelled out for, you vainglorious putz.
Once I get it, can I return it? NO. THERE ARE NO RETURNS AND NO REFUNDS. CLICK THE BUY BUTTON AND YOU’RE GETTING WHAT’S IN THAT BOX, AND YOU’RE KEEPING IT.
We wrote that specifically to let people like you know that that whatever is in the box, is exactly what you’ll get. So, what’s the issue here? Do you think you deserve special treatment, because you don’t want to follow directions? You know what, we’re just gonna refund you and cancel your account. We don’t want your dirty money. You keep the banana and the dog costume. In fact, you should burn them and film it and show the world how much Woot has hurt you. That’ll show us.
Woot
PS –OK, OK, maybe we over-reacted. How about this – we’ll refund you THIS TIME. But you should go into the forums here and post a picture of exactly what you got. And the letter we just sent you. And tell people that this is the canned response they’ll get if they think they’re above the rules. Deal?”
Best regards,
Robb
Woot.com
PS The Bier Stein was full and did not come with the box but I needed it. Neither did the lights
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You tried getting a refund?
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Ha, that’s brilliant.
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We don’t write the features because we’re lacking work! READ 'EM PEOPLE!
Thank you for posting as directed!
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FTFY
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So…
What was all that business about a shipping manifest? 
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