I dialed 867-5309 and it was not Jenny who answered… next time, I’ll try a text
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You know those spammers who send out a lot of spam texts? What if it turns out they’re just making use of their cell phone provider’s unlimited texting?
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Oh yeah, about that imprinted texting thing. Is there a Guinness Book of World Records for most phone numbers texted in the world?
…want to start working on that?
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I know it’s still August but I’m so looking forward to Christmas right now
You just renewed your cars extended warranty. So now what are they calling about?
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WOOHOO! 
MOM’S OUT FOR THE DAY, IT’S A FREE FOR ALL!
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It’s not BOTH legs like your friend… 
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It’s almost too late to click on this official Woot push.
This is a test of the WIMP (Woot Important Messaging Push) system.
Someday Woot may become a world leader in internet sales. And maybe not.
This Woot push is 100% organic and fat-free.
Yes, there is probably a duck watching you right now.
Dressing up fancy is not required when clicking on this push, but we hope you’re wearing something.
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Software update: teleportation app installed?
Why haven’t you visited your aunt Agatha yet?
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Listen, this push has not been approved by HR.
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Push it push it good
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This push has been pushed around for far too long.
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By the time you read this it will be too late.
Push
“Haha…I just made your phone vibrate”
Or “Haha, made you look. It’s just us”
If I were a wood chuck, how many posts could I chuck in a day…….
The burnout is real, just like this push…..
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1 boc but only 1…GO
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“A Push is never late, nor is it early, it arrives precisely when it means to” - LOTW!