This is going to be the beginning of a beautiful…no that’s the end of one…call me Ish…nope that’s been done…there once was a man from Nantu…oops!
I’ve got it:
Once upon a crime, in a land far, far away (called Kentucky), there lived a girl who didn’t quite get her life together. This was unfortunate, you see, because this led to the events that will unfold in this thread. It all started with…
Her alarm went off at 6:00 am sharp. This would give her plenty of time to pick up what she would need in order to “do what HAD to be done”. The first, and most crucial, thing on her list was…
For the uses of petroleum jelly amongst the truly evil are limitless, as you well know, and her dentist would all too soon come to realize. And…well, her “turkey” was dry…and you never know when…oops different genre. As she scanned the aisles reminiscing of the days when duct tape was just something you used to…
If it was, it would explain why I keep having to buy new tweezers…and why my love life is so…wait for it…shockingly mundane! That was so corny I may have to report myself! But I’m sick with the flu so you have to allow me some editorial slack!
Please tell me you didn’t make that up and that my loss of bladder control is completely understandable! And they think bb guns are dangerous! She was clearly driving while mentally impaired (of course she was probably born that way) but…you know they let pretty much anyone drive here too!
I’m gonna have to say both eyes…and at least one finger. To point with that is, I don’t want to be rude, or get shot! (did you buy that or am I going to have to peddle my b.s. elsewhere?)