Derby #42: Join the Revolution!

Is the fist the only thing that makes you hesitant or is there more? What other things do you like about the old one that you don’t care for on this shirt? (I really appreciate the feedback, and plan on taking advantage of the 15ish hours I have left to make changes :wink:

Was looking at your image again. Two critiques:

  1. Colour. JadenKale’s Nessie showed that black doesn’t show very well on navy (which is what I think you’re using). I’m not sure what you can do about that though.

  2. The crowd looks too flat to me - maybe add some shadows somehow? Unless it was your intention to have them flat, so the gas mask guy stands out more.

I’m definitely going to draw in more definition lines on the crowd. I’ll have to consider the black color choice, should I change the shirt color to asphalt? would any other shirt colors work? The red is also rather distracting to the eye (I think the grafito man needs to be the first thing one’s eye gets drawn to) so I may mute it even more. Good suggestions, thanks!

I think the design looks good on navy. A dark shirt colour works well. It’s just the black issue - tough call. Asphalt would probably work, but you’d probably get a bunch of “not more asphalt!” comments. =P

They may sub grate for gre@t, but they don’t substitute “write” for “right.” That one is all you! :wink:

:slight_smile: Okay, I went and looked at the previous one and compared the two, here is a compare and contrast detailing likes and dislikes of the 2, take from it what you will:

One thing I like in the old “parent” shirt that isn’t in this one are the the paint splatters on the background, though not sure if they relate to current theme. Other things that make me hesitant about this shirt: I don’t like the fist (though I guess it is “revolutionary”), and I kind of think the red ruins the coloring, but that is just me. Others may see the fist and think it is great. I don’t like that his shirt is white, I liked how in the parent shirt the color of the shirt bleed through to be the man’s shirt color (and skin color it appears). Someone already commented on the lack of dimension on the crowd, this is less so in the parent image. The coloring on the new shirt doesn’t seem as… composed as the previous shirt. The colors of the other shirt just seemed to work very well together, and they don’t seem as cohesive in this shirt. And I don’t know why the circle is there in the new shirt. This may be mainly because of the red fist and the very white shirt, face and arm though.

I like the man with the gas mask has his jacket off and lung behind the back, but the legs do seem a little stiff (though not sure if you can fix it).

Man, this seems more critical than I meant it, and I do like the current design. I just tried to compare the two and find specifics examples of what I didn’t like in it. Though obviouly it is your shirt, so you should make it look the way you want. And I am only one small voice.

Anyway, I hope this helps you refine your design. Again, none of this is said with any meanness or negativity, only helpfulness. I just want to make that clear because of the drama that can tend to happen, and it is obviously a design and theme you care about.

I need some help. Is this worth finishing? Being the rookie that I am, this is kicking my butt. Thought I’d see if anyone was into it before I continued on.

Here’s the inspiration.

Thanks in advance for any input.

OH No!!! and I was so careful! Drat!!!

Thanks a bunch for this critique. I knew something was ‘off’ witht he new one, and you gave me some very helpful avenues to look at. I really appreciate it!

It’s punny, but it also fits the theme - it was a revolutionary thought that the Earth wasn’t the center of the universe. Granted, neither is the sun, but so what?

(Edit: please vote!)
http://s3.amazonaws.com/wootdesigncontestentries/eHalcyon/Copernicus_Heliocentric_Revolution-d3653p-s.jpg

The outer ring is supposed to be “fixed background stars”, as per the Copernican model. I don’t think all of the stars are large enough to be printed, but most of them should be fine. Will the presence of the minor ones be grounds for rejection? I can get rid of the stars, but it adds a certain je ne sais quoi to it.

Good! It seemed a bit “off” to me as well, but didn’t know how to say why until I really looked between the two. I hope it will be useful to you. It would be a bummer for this shirt to get fourth, again. But then, as I said, others may have a different opinion. Some people really love big red fists :slight_smile: Good luck!

peaceful revolution, yes?

beautifully done! i like the anime feel to the faces. the feathers are wonderful!

i think it’s cool, and i’m really impressed with your aging effect!

There were a ton of spring/spring puns in the Spring Derby, and all were rejected. That leads me to wonder about rejection with this kind of revolution. note - do not want it rejected, am worrying for eHalcyon

Just to post the design over here, this is a parody on a revolutionary figure with a quote from an aristocrat who was eventually beheaded at the peak of a revolution. It is a piece with very deep meanings about revolutionary figures in general or it’s just funny, you decide (but those are your only 2 options).

http://www.phrog.net/Stuph/che6.jpg

We’ll see what happens in the voting realm, but I expect some of the heavy hitters to come out with some stunning stuff. I’m just hoping to get top ten, honestly :wink:

sweet zenne. this is looking hot! delicious swirly goodness!

Well, good luck, I think you should do well! And I checked out your website, I didn’t know you were a youth pastor. I think that is awesome!

And by the way, even when the “heavy hitters” come out with designs they don’t always win, and who says you aren’t one of them? :wink:

I think this one is ok. Again, the thought against a geocentric universe was something of a scientific revolution.

I have another idea that’s much more likely to be rejected for being off topic… XP

The aging effect is all thanks to derekfilley.

A youth pastor! derekfilley, if that’s you on the button in your sig, you look really young for a pastor. But my pastor looks like a teenager too. =P

I should think scientific revolution would be very valid. It’s one of the biggies.