Well shit why didnt i think of this first. woot would you like to sell a bag of my lawn clippings? Or how about some of my rotten crab apples. I can cut you in on a deal if you buy in bulk.
I already bought your lawn clippings, my room mate used to sell us dime bags of these in college. Let me tell you they sucked. All we would do is hyperventilate.
Close enough:
Pine cones provide a unique and delightful experience when used as renewable toilet paper as their evolved tapered shape, and ridges, work hard to scour your filthy bum-bum mess of bad eating choices.
Additionally pine cones are a great source of dietary fiber and essential oils. You certainly can pick each seed off and add to a salad, or bite into one like an apple as nature intended.
